A Kirby vacuum salesperson's story. As an HR major (update: former HR major - ed.) and generally distrustful person, I have learned over time how to recognize bogus job opportunities. The rule of thumb is, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Work from home scams are notorious for this and usually the easiest to spot.

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but anything promising a large payoff for minimal effort just makes me roll my eyes. Sure, in a perfect world we could make a thousand bucks a month by working a couple hours a day. And in said perfect world beer would be good for us and animals would shit diamonds instead of scented land mines. I can happily say I've never fallen for a work from home scam, but I did fall for something just as bad, if not worse. For three days I was a Kirby vacuum cleaner salesperson. For those fortunate enough never to have encountered this bastion of corporate evil, here's a little background. Kirby is a manufacturer of vacuum cleaners and home cleaning accessories, based out of Cleveland, Ohio, with dealers in several countries.

The product itself is decent. The vacuum is built solid (albeit heavy as fuck and looks like it should come with a flame- thrower attachment) and really does everything it's touted to do, everything from carpets and staircases, upholstery, mattresses, and wiping your ass for you. Wait, scratch that last one, but with a price tag in the range of two grand and half a kidney, it really fucking should. I should clarify at this point that the sales of Kirby vacuum cleaners are done through independent dealerships and not directly through the Kirby company, and thus the following rant really has nothing to do with the company itself. But someone had to authorize these numpties to besmirch the Kirby name with their fuckery, so my criticism still stands. And man oh man, do these guys ever make with the fuckery. Their sales pitches are nothing short of notorious.

There have been countless articles and rants on consumer advocacy sites and blogs about the pushy and unethical practices of Kirby salespeople, but there is also a plethora of evidence that those who get sucked into the job end up just as burned as those on the receiving end of their pitches. Having met a few of these hapless suckers I can attest that many of them are indeed professional- grade douchebags, but even as heartless as I can be when someone wakes me before noon for something that doesn't involve bacon I always empathize in the end with anyone who is led down the proverbial rabbit hole employment- wise. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enticed by the carrot of treachery more than once, but at least I wasn't alone. The year was 2. 00. Watch The Visit Hindi Full Movie.

That was a rather trying year for me as it was, compounded in no small part by my roommate's chronic job- hopping, not to mention she had begun leeching off my already meager income long before that. Since neither threats nor the not- at- all passive- aggressive practice of leaving underwear in the kitchen curbed the bitchcraft, I had to step it up. So when my insufferable job at the auto parts store finally crapped out, I decided to cowgirl up and find another, hopefully more lucrative employment opportunity. Looking through the classifieds one day, I found an ad seeking persons for "demonstrations of home care products". It promised $5. 00 a week plus bonuses and gave a phone number. What the hell, I figured. If it's bullshit I don't ever have to talk to them again.

Sign your children up for 2 free games of bowling all summer long.

Kilauea; Mount Etna; Mount Yasur; Mount Nyiragongo and Nyamuragira; Piton de la Fournaise; Erta Ale. Despicable Me 3 will actually cross that $85M mark that Universal originally forecasted; just a day later. · For those fortunate enough never to have encountered this bastion of corporate evil, here's a little background. Kirby is a manufacturer of vacuum cleaners.

I called, and the man who answered, presumably the owner, gave me directions to his office and told me to stop by to pick up an application. It was right up the road from my apartment, so off I went. After what happened when I arrived, I should have turned right around and walked back out, but I'm not known for making good decisions. A sign on the front office door read "Please use side entrance." I did just that.

It's important to show a potential employer that you know how to follow directions, you know. I walked into a large room, empty save for a circle of folding chairs and a monstrous- looking vacuum cleaner.

There was no one there so I sat down in a chair near the door to the front office and waited. After a few minutes people flooded into the room, all young college types save for a large, red- faced man.

Tickets for Concerts, Sports, Theatre and More Online at TicketsInventory.com. DVD and BLU-RAY REVIEWS INDEX Alphabetical listing, divided by studio, of all our DVD and Blu-ray reviews. (DVDs, if not specified.) Sortable DVD & Blu-ray Review. By. Mike Silver. I have been intrigued by the great middleweight boxer Mike Gibbons ever since I read that Gene Tunney tried to duplicate his style. Chicago Med Cast & News on Global TV Watch free episodes of Chicago Med TV series on Global TV online Chicago Med TV schedule, cast photos and news.

Hey, who the hell's that?" he barked when he saw me. She's not with us.". I awkwardly explained that I was there to apply for a job, at which he brusquely whisked me into the front office area.

When I finally sat down in front of a (I thought) normal person, he thrust a short application in front of my face and asked me a few questions. Are you a student, are you currently employed, yada yada yada. There was no mention of drug testing, background check, proof of eligibility to work in the U. S., my first- born child, or any of the usual stuff one must fork over for even a passing chance of procuring employment.

That didn't raise any flags for me then as it might now, but the fact that he told me to show up at 9 the following morning for training should have. Like many of the stupid things I do, I went to the training the next day because I had nothing better to do. There were maybe nine people in attendance, all of them around my age. When I saw all the shit lying around emblazoned with the Kirby logo I started to feel uneasy. This felt more like the set of an infomercial than a training session, and once the session actually got underway this feeling only intensified. At least the fat bastard who was so rude to me the previous day wasn't the one giving the presentation.

This guy, a "senior sales manager", was young, good- looking, and energetic, decked out in crisp grey khakis and a polo shirt and bantering with the other trainees. He actually reminded me of the door- to- door salesman from Pee- Wee's Playhouse. And while there was no door handy at the time to slam on his dick, this comparison is made all that much funnier with what I would experience later.

The training kicked off with what I dubbed "Kirby salespeople are better than YOU". We were shown a video that was not at all propaganda- like, outlining the company's history, the product and its millions of "satisfied owners", and the OMG FUCKING SWEET perks of being a Kirby salesperson, including company- paid trips to Hawaii and other tropical locales in exchange for exemplary sales numbers, which would be easy to achieve because this machine is the awesomest awesome that ever awesomed and sells itself.

I was already beyond disgusted but we were told there'd be pizza for lunch, so I stuck around. After the satisfactory pizza lunch, incidentally the best part of the day, the second part of the training began. This entailed learning the ins and outs of the vacuum. Mr. Sales Puppet Guy demonstrated briefly how to assemble the machine, assuring us we'd be thoroughly trained in this task before our first real demonstration, and then it was the machine's time to shine. This involved baking soda, a special filter attachment with a clear plastic window and about 5.

Kirby vacuum cleaners; trade- ins from past customers, he said. He poured the baking soda all over the floor and ran the old vacuum a dozen or so times over a small area of carpet. He then went over the same patch of carpet with the Kirby complete with filter attachment, and then pulled the filter, which was encrusted with filth and baking soda.

He repeated this about ten more times, presenting us with filters that were still disgusting but slightly less so with each pass.